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My theory on Charlie Sheen

2011-03-11 15:03:19 by arkthejr

Within the land of internet lore, there was time of unrest. Everyone wanted to be the "Most Epic Dood Evar". Chuck Norris by way of his Majestic Beard and brute force attained that status in 1 day. His reign went unchallenged until the arrival of the Three Wolf Moon Shirt. It's powers laid dormant until Amazon rouges awakened it's true nature. Since the awakening, the Three Wolf Moon Shirt gained the epic status within 3 hours. The original shirt then became overly proud. These actions incurred the jealousy of Chuck Norris. So, In an act of supreme vengeance, Chuck Norris used the time travel capabilities of his beard to summon King Leonidas, Zombie Bruce Lee, and Colin McCintire.

The Team approached the Three Wolf Moon Shirt, Challenging it's superiority. Colin Grabbed the shirt while the others performed the legendary Tri-roundhouse-Kick. The power level upon the kick's impact was measured at over 9000. Unknown to them, the son of basement kitty had just been kicked out of the house by his father. He had crawled inside the shirt for warmth only moments ago. The Kick ripped a hole in the space-time-dimension continuum to the year 1965. It was here that the Shirt worn by Son of Basement cat combined with the tachyons of time travel had become a psychic mass that found a home. It absorbed into the mind of a newborn by the name of Carlos Estevez. The Psychic Mass also caused such a time rift that it attracted the attention of every drug known to man. Much later, when he was aware of his true potential, Carlos took the name Charlie Sheen after Son of Basement cat said in his young mind: "Sharly U Sud hav sheen haw dos gais kickde mai."

Now, with the presence of the Other Three Wolf Moon Shirts, Charlie's "abilities" have grown tenfold. These powers, however, only exist in his head. He now believes he is a tiger blooded warlock rockstar from mars. He is currently awaiting the day he can once again challenge chuck Norris. It is written that the next time kick could be responsible for the disappearance of Atlantis.